Writing through the doubt

I’ve reached that stage in editing.  I’m almost done draft 3, and I’m beginning to doubt myself.  That’s fine, actually.  See, I’m editing the part where my character goes through her challenges and has to face her fears.  She’s doubting and she’s moody and life just isn’t going her way.  As I edit, I feel it, too.  

Maybe that’s a good thing, as it means her emotions are coming across, at least to me.  I’ll know when I hand it over to someone else for review and comments.  What it also means is that I push through the doubt like she does and keep going.  When I spend all morning in another world, or worlds (I’m writing more than one book), sometimes I feel what they feel.  

Sometimes it can take a little for me to extract myself again.  I’ve heard it said that a writer is a whole bunch of people rolled into one body.  Sometimes I feel that way.  I’m the lost girl trying to find my way in life.  I’m her mentor, coming to help.  I’m the villain, just wanting to make the world my version of better.

I’m also the writer who sits back and gives these people their own voice, knowing they want to be on the page.  It’s hard when I give them feelings, as I’m sensitive to the feelings of others.  Characters can have feelings just as strong as we do, if the writer is any good.  I’ve written scenes where my guy has jumped, wanted to scream, almost sobbed, and more as he read them, and he’s not the most emotive guy.  I hope that means I can share the ride with my other readers, too.

Right now that means writing through the doubt and journeying on with the young mage, not letting her feelings overwhelm me as we go.  It’s pushing on and finishing the book, revising again as needed when this draft is done.  It’s planting my butt in that chair every morning So the story can continue.  That’s what being a writer is, it’s writing because I have no other choice.